Notorious RD

We are currently seeking a full time Weight Loss Hero for a well-known supersized country.

A Weight Loss Hero is considered part of the country’s Health and Well Being and therefore may provide services including but not limited to:

• Contribute to healthy weight loss, without restricting food intake, labeling food as “good or bad” or supporting fad diets
• Provide weight loss support to citizens
• Guide citizens to make healthy weight loss choices
• Contribute to country’s overall well-being

At least 5 years of weight loss experience is required.  Previous study publication is preferred.  Spandex not required, but is a plus.

Please send cover letter and resume to boy-do-we-need-a-weight-loss-hero@supersizedcountry.co to apply.

One hour later…

To whom it may concern,

From Superhero Magazine I learned about your need for a Weight Loss Hero.  I am very interested in this position, and I believe there would be a good fit between my skills and interests and your needs.

I am currently working as a Weight Loss Hero for healthy eaters everywhere.  I provide weight loss support by making people feel fuller because I expand in their stomach.  Not only do I help people feel fuller, I also slow the rate of stomach emptying which makes them feel fuller longer.  Dietitians and nutritionists consider me essential to weight loss.  Since I have a history with healthy foods, I frequently guide people to make healthy weight loss choices.  Although I can’t tell you the exact number of my years of experience, I have been a Weight Loss Hero since the beginning of human existence.  Attached is my resume which further outlines my qualifications.

I would appreciate the opportunity to discuss a position with you, and am excited to hear more about the position.  Thank you for your consideration.

Sincerely,

Fiber

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Fiber Resume

Objective: To help people stay fuller longer and promote healthy weight loss

Skills and Abilities

A 2004 study review in “Nutrition” found that I help people lose weight and keep it off.

• Decreased food intake
• Decreased body weight
• Promoted meal satisfaction

Work Experience (25-35 g recommended daily)

Vegetables: 1 artichoke: 10 g  fiber, 1 cup acorn squash: 9 g, 1 cup peas: 8.8 g, 1 cup broccoli: 5.1 g, 1 cup brussels sprouts: 4.1 g, 1 cup cooked spinach: 4 g, 1 medium potato with skin: 2.9 g, 1 medium carrot: 1.7 g

Fruit: 1/2 avocado: 9 g, 1 cup raspberries: 8 g, 1 medium pear: 5.5 g,  1 cup blueberries: 4 g, 1 cup strawberries: 3.5 g, 1 medium banana: 3.1 g, 1 medium orange: 3.1 g,

Whole Grains: 1 cup whole wheat spaghetti: 6.2 g, 1 cup barley: 6 g, 1 cup cooked quinoa: 5 g,  1 cup oatmeal: 4 g, 3 cups popcorn: 3.5 g,  1 cup brown rice: 3.5 g, whole grain bread: 2 g

Beans, Nuts and Seeds: 1 cup cooked split peas: 16.3 g, 1 cup kidney beans: 16 g, 1 cup cooked lentils: 15.6 g, 1 cup black beans: 15 g, 1 cup garbanzo beans: 12 g, 1/4 cup sunflower seeds: 3.9 g,  23 almonds (1 oz): 3.5 g, 49 pistachio nuts (1 oz): 2.9 g

Cooking w/ my weight loss hero, fiber!

Now you know that fiber is my Weight Loss Hero… who’s yours?